The Days ...

The days continue to pass here in England.  I feel like I'm refining ... or perhaps, redefining, myself. 

I have rewritten my CV.  Mostly because it needed rewritten and after days of slaving, I am beginning to 'see' more of what I have achieved, and lived, and experienced.  It almost broke my mind trying to pull it all out, and there is more, but this is okay for the moment.   And I see that I've worked hard oftentimes but it has been fun too.  Some great adventures with extraordinary souls. 

And there I am, wanting to write somewhere on my CV, 'willing to learn'.  I'm always willing to learn, to study, to grow.

That has to go out sooner, rather than later.  I also spent time on LinkedIn, refining my profile there.  It's still not done but I have given a better idea of some of the truly sublime assignments I've done on this journey, so far.

I found a Sports Bar for the Rugby World Cup game, between New Zealand and France, last night.  It was stunning.  I felt like I had the privilege of seeing a new rugby legend emerge.  Julian Savea's performance won't be forgotten for a long time ...

There's a link to some video at the bottom of the article I linked to above, under the rave reviews that have gone down.  62-13!!  The game was exquisite last night.  It did my heart good after so long away from this scene.

Ravings aside ... Andy took me over to visit a local Antique store yesterday.  What an amazing place.  Multiple floors, at least 34 rooms ... more perhaps.  Here's a small glimpse.  It was divine.

Sainsburys ...

I try to keep the wonder-filled child out of sight, quietly hidden inside of myself, when I wander the aisles of Sainsburys in these early days.  I've been 12 years out of the English-speaking world, 12 years far from home and all that is familiar, including the English-influenced food down in New Zealand.

And that's been fine.  I loved so much about Turkey that there was always some thing that would delight and/or surprise me.  There was the food that became favourite food ... the Dil Peyniri, (string cheese) was divine.  I loved every kind of Börek, and İskender kebap was pretty much my idea of heaven.  I loved most of the food I found there.

Then fast-forward to Belgium, and the outdoor Saturday Market was my new place of delight and wonderment for a while.  The cheeses from France, the crusty breads, the olives, the fresh fruit and vegetables ... the market was that place we always meant to go Every Saturday, not just with guests, as it turned out.

I had favourite chocolate shops, of course.  And that restaurant, in Grote Markt, serving good Flemish cruisine was the place where I liked to take friends.

But Sainsburys ... it's kind of like being back home, with foods and ingredients not seen in a long time.  I'm making a Carbonara tonight and had to buy bacon ... but which bacon became the big decision.  Then I found a garlic crusher, on sale, for 2pounds 50 ... just after giving up, imagining they didn't carry them.  I went to buy cheese but ended up with a President Brie, from France.  A brand known to me because there were a million other choices ... choices that read divine but I was overwhelmed by it all and played safe.  This time.

They stock my new breakfast of choice food - Warburtons thin plain bagels.  Lovely with butter and raspberry jam ... or with the President brie, it turns out.

Don't start me on the biscuit and chocolate selections, also so very familiar to me ... and anyway, I'm resisting almost all of them.  But they're there, and I seem to slip back in time when I wander that aisle, remembering those early morning cups of tea at Nana's - with shortbread and similar biscuits to those seen on the shelvesin Sainsburys.

The wine guy is a lovely bloke.  Half Italian, a quarter English and Irish.  He's so passionate about his wines, and knowledgeable, of course.  He was helpful when I found myself bewildered by a whole new selection of reds, all completely unknown to me.  No old friends to be found on those shelves.

And the people ... they've been lovely.  Of course.  It's England.  So far, so good with the people.

There's a Starbucks on site and, much as I can't stand their coffee generally, the espresso is okay when no other espresso is possible.  I'm quite the monster about coffee ...

I had imagined I might give it up over here, without my beloved coffee machine.  And while I was at it, I've been thinking about stepping away from the red wine too however ... perhaps a little bit sometimes is more realistic.  And kinder.

My CV is written.  First draft.  I would definitely get me in for an interview.  Actually I would hire me too :-) 

Today's image is light on a leaf, captured as I made my way to Sainsburys.  As I write this, it's overcast and windy now, with light rain.  Peri the cat is having a crazy moment and flying around the room in pursuit of invisible creatures ...  She makes me smile.

So that's today, so far, in England. And yeah ...I think Sainsburys is kind of fabulous.

The Problem of Writing a Brilliant CV ...

One of the more difficult things about beginning this new life is writing up my CV ... telling the story of me and my work experiences so that people think it a good idea to hire me.

And I want to stay with the truth while remembering that it is about marketing.  Modesty isn't really the way to go ...

So how do I define what I have done these last few years.  How do I present my experience.  And myself.

I'm not sure that I quite fit any pre-defined box but perhaps that's a good thing.

I have a working title for my job description but it's only a working title.

So, with my head broken after a morning of study and much thinking, I wandered off to visit with one of the neighbours - friends of my lovely friends, Kim and Andy. 

What a delightful way to spend a couple of hours!

Diana is one of those wise women, a person I felt I had known a very long time.  And Steve is kindness itself.

I have returned to my work station refilled and replenished.

So yes, it's all about me. 

I photographed their 17th century wall yesterday, in the exquisite Autumn afternoon light ... there's a story to come about it all.  Of patents, inventors and brick-laying inventions.


Today ...

This morning has been breakfast in a quiet kitchen accompanied by the noisy purr of Peri, the cat.  She is also a stray.

My coffee machine is back in Belgium, holidaying at the home of my daughter.  I can't begin to tell you how much I miss my morning espresso sometimes.  Other times I feel pure about drinking tap water again.  Instead of plateen brood toasted and slathered in peach jam, I eat bagels with raspberry jam.  Instead of cleaning up and doing the dishes, I load the dishwasher here.

It's so very different.  And quieter.

This morning is all about rewriting my CV to showcase all I have done in my working life, and in doing so, make me an attractive employee.  My skills are many and varied and so it's all about lining them up in a way that is lucid and marketable.

I am unused to this.  It used to be about stepping back and letting my photography speak for itself however the future may need to be about more than the photography.

I went wandering through the zoo, with Miss 11, before leaving Belgium.  We found these guys, just hanging out there, together.

It's been a while ...

Di.jpg

I had to make two attempts at logging in this morning ... my password almost forgotten.

It has been one of those years.  So full of mistakes and sadness although, if I learn from it all, perhaps I can already begin to re-frame it positively.  Lessons learned so far ... perhaps.

I have learned about running a business.  My own.

I have learned about taking care of my body.  That anemia.

I have learned about boundaries.  By making myself far too responsible for everyone else.

And so it is that I am living in another not-my-own country, after having to accept that my Belgian bloke had simply stopped loving me.

The break-up has taken most of this year to unfold.  Slowly, but surely, the loss and the sadness that accompanies this kind of experience has silenced me here.

Silenced me because ... long ago, back in the land of stoic people, I was told to leave my grandma's funeral service because my tears were upsetting everyone else.  It turns out that sometimes we can only hold ourselves together as long as no one else breaks. 

My first public speaking experience happened at my mother's funeral, many years later.  My baby brother was heartbroken, and seeing his heart breaking directly in front of me, I stopped to admonish him with a, Kim!  Stop it!  ... echoing that experience from so long ago.

Doing that terrible thing to my brother, the one who loved Mum so very much, gifted me the ability to finish the speech I still had to make about her.

So it is that I have woven my way through 2015, sure that sympathy was the last thing I wanted, or could stand.  I wanted ... no, I needed that stoicism to carry me through.

Just to complicate things, I also wanted to keep attempting to take care of my people as the marriage wound down because taking care of people is a huge part of my reason for being ... I learned. 

I came to see that I loved making sure that breakfast was right for all those who passed through on those crazy chaotic mornings.   I loved doing all that home and family stuff, despite sighing quite often and complaining of my time being lost.  I loved those days when I took Miss 11 to and from school, talking the whole way.   And even as I despaired about the mess that appeared everyday in our 3-storey, pippi-longstocking-house, I was also loving that I could fix everything and make it beautiful again.  Well ... cosy.

Laundry would pile up like it had been sprinkled with Jack and the Beanstalk growth hormones and dishes were a constant.  But I loved the smell of the laundry straight off the clothesline during the long summer we just had.  And the sight of our varnished wooden kitchen bench, clear of dishes, did my soul good.

I have always loved wandering but I learned that I also love coming home.  I love meeting new people and living in other cultures but I adore the warmth (and chaos) of family and close friends ... and belonging. 

So the gate-climbing Diane has climbed the gate again.  Actually, no, I was assisted this time.  And when I looked back ... the gate was gone. 

There's no going back.

This is my first blog post, giving you a sense of what has been happening, and an attempt at explaining why my business has been neglected for so many months. 

I'm 'in process' over in England ...  I have really good friends, all over the world, and their kindness had almost undone me ... so many times.

Kim and Andy picked me up and are currently in the process of dusting me off and setting me back on my way again.  I'm living with them while I work out how to move forward. Yesterday it was recruiting agencies in town and exploring the Situation Vacant in the newspaper here.  Today my photography is calling me back, reminding me it's that thing that I love.

So I am sure you will hear more about these remarkable people as I blog my way through.  Even this post is a massive break-through.  Perhaps I'm returning. 

And I realised ... I would quite like to share this unexpected journey with you.