Things Left Behind ... (written in 2006)

Thing: an object that one need not, cannot, or does not wish to give a specific name to. (things) personal belongings or clothing. 2. an inanimate material object, especially as distinct from a living sentient being.

This morning it occured to me that my life has been so much about leaving things behind ...

And it should go without saying  that I miss people more than I miss things ... mostly but today I was thinking of things missed.

I lived in one house until I was 20 and so nothing prepared me for the constant stream-lining of possessions that lay ahead of me. I moved house at least 11 times during my 14 year marriage to a high school teacher back home.  And then, 4 times after the divorce,  before leaving for Turkey.  There were two homes in Istanbul and now here I am, almost possessionless again here in Belgium.

I had so many books, over 400, a beautiful desk and chair, and a bed that I loved, back in New Zealand ... photo albums, a material history made up of precious things.

I left my winter clothing in Istanbul, with other things abandoned when my excess book luggage cost me a cool 240 euro.

I was flying back there in September 2005 anyway, on my way home to New Zealand but I haven't managed that yet.  The Belgian distracted me and here I am, still waiting to be legal.  Then legal to work.

Here, in this new life, I have two journals, a laptop full of photographs, my cds and dvds, my camera gear and my books.

The oddest things make me remember those things I've loved in other places.  Yesterday I bought a new cup. I love beautiful cups and this cup, its shape, its colour, how it fits in my hand ... it's perfect.

The new cup made me nostalgic for beautiful things left behind ... in Istanbul and in New Zealand.

Mostly I don't think of these things but sometimes, just sometimes, I miss them.