Loneliness ....

I wrote a post, over on Facebook, about Loneliness ... 

But things have a habit of disappearing there.  It's the nature of FB.  Life scrolls on.  Perhaps it reappears at a memory in a year, or two but I wanted to keep this post because it seemed to really strike a cord in people.  

I wrote from the heart, and people responded from that place too.

It was this:

I have mostly been part of a tribe...
1 of 4 children, twice a wife, a mother, a stepmother, and a nonna too. And then I have had lovely circles of friends where ever I have lived. 
ribes', made up of family & friends, are things that I appreciate so much, simply because I know I should never take them forgranted.

Out here, sometimes, the loneliness makes me leave the house, with my camera, and walk these ancient city streets. It has always been my way, since I was small, in New Zealand I sought out the beaches and rivers.  In Istanbul, I would cross the city on foot.  And anyway, out walking opens me up to seeing things I wouldn't see if I wasn't alone. It's double-edged sword perhaps.

But if I'm honest, I believe that even being part of a tribe can still leave a person feeling lonely sometimes.  Loneliness is interesting. I've been trying to just let it be ... knowing there are so many lonely people in the world. In or out of relationships, surrounded by family or completely alone. 

It makes me kinder. It makes me admire the older people I see, with their walking sticks and their slow shuffles, out shopping alone. I admire their courage. It makes me offer to help because I know I would appreciate it. And sometimes, like this morning, this lovely older woman and I ended up chatting ... about her sciatica.

But in Italy, in Genova, the people who perhaps understand most of all, are the barista's. I adore the ones I adore. Sometimes they save my day, after a night of bad dreams, when I wake alone in this life I am pursuing. Today, a lovely man gifted me a free espresso and gave me back my courage. It's that simple sometimes. It's that simple to be kind.

We don't talk of our loneliness. But we should. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is familiar with it. 

I dislike being this honest :-) but I suspect it is needed in this world where we all prefer to seem like we're doing okay. And we are ... we are.
Buona giornata.

a stairway, lit.jpg

Things I've Learned ...

I know of a good pub in Farnham, full of people who allow you that bar stool in the midst of their conversations and laughter.  And I found a walk I enjoyed while I was staying there.  I met Diana and Steve, and simply adored them. 

I've learned that I love thin bagels for breakfast, and that I Can live without my coffee machine.  In good news, for me, it seems I can sleep in any bed.  My back doesn't ache in mornings and I'm grateful for that.

I know where to buy the best slice of lemon & cream sponge roll in Southsea.  I found a coffee shop with good espresso con panna - for 'those'days.  I'm learning that I like to shop in Sainsburys because the staff there are unbelievably friendly.  I was introduced to the best fish & chips in the area.  And found a small space in Drift ... that bar that I like, down there in Portsmouth.

These days find me navigating the London Underground. I'm enjoying conversations with strangers.  And I almost understand that I'm living in London.  That one amuses me.  I've lived in, or visited, a few big cities, accidentally, never dreaming of going there. 

And I'm taking nothing forgranted.  I learned, in the first hour back in London, that you never ever cross against the lights because ... you might get run down.  It was only that a second car blocked the speeding car that would have hit me.

Oh, and in great news, I found that I have to pass by Carluccios almost everyday this week.  Today I discovered that their espresso is not only affordable, it's also superb.