Alice came to a fork in the road. “Which road do I take?” she asked. “Where do you want to go” responded the cat. “I don’t know” Alice answered. “Then,” said the cat, “It doesn’t matter.
Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Source: Oh Fairies
It's fascinating (for me) to watch myself struggle with having made space and silence to write ...
I didn't realise quite how addicted I had become to distraction. 'Addicted' for want of a better word. Facebook is perfect as a distraction. It's full of some of my favourite people and, often, it's the only place I easily and instantly reach them. It's playtime all day, if I allow it be. Or forget that it shouldn't be ... on a slow day when I am quite lost and lacking in self-discipline.
And my FB wall was full of interesting folk. It wasn't the tedious stuff you read about in the 'worst of FB' stories. They were posting politically and intellectually interesting stuff ... as well as day-to-day life, links to good music, and their stories too.
These days of allowing this silence to fall around me haven't been simple but slowly I'm growing used to the peace of it all. Instead of multiple story-lines telling of other worlds running there in my head, I only have my stories ... mostly.
The loveliest thing is that I am receiving long emails from friends who have either already left facebook or who want to stay in touch. Long emails are bliss and I find myself setting aside time to reply, instead of them being lost in the avalanche of action that my life used to be. And links to good music are often included. I would hate to lose those introductions to music others love.
Yesterday I was consumed by a desire to further prepare myself for the long winter ahead. Bookshelves were moved, the sofa went upstairs to Miss 9's room, replaced by a exquisite yellow armchair I found secondhand and today this office space/bedroom is so much more beautiful. When the sun angles in through the window behind me now, it is no longer absorbed by the other deep-red bookshelf, instead it reflects off the wall painted a warm terrocotta (I think) and lights the middle of the room with a warm glow.
Light, and that colour range from pale yellow through into a deep gold, they are things that I love. My desk area is clearer than ever, and the small round red patterned rug that we found is perfect under my chair.
The paddling-people delighted me, in the image below, but so did the house. If I had a Pinterest board, I'm almost sure that it would be filled with images of houses and rooms made for dreaming and writing in...